W.I.S.......

Things not to say to a recent widow:

1. Don't grab her hands in your hands and say, "Oh, every day it is just going to get easier. And in a few months, you will wake up and will forget that this all happened." Especially if you are only in your mid 30' and have no.idea.what.you.are.talking.about.

2. "I'm a widow, too. It's been seven years and you know, each day doesn't get better. It's harder now than before. I miss him more every day."

3. At least you'll have a great reunion in heaven.

4. Pretty much omit any sentence that begins with "At least" or "Just be thankful" or, "I know how you feel" (especially if you're not a widower yourself).

5. "How are you doing?" while standing in the church foyer. How do you think she's doing? Barely holding herself in one piece. Rather, you could say, "Good to see you." "Praying for you." Hug them and whisper in their ear that you love them. Pretty much delete the whole phrase of "How are you", please. Culture shift....please.

6. And by all means...this is the absolute worst thing...please, please, don't freely share any cancer stories with her or other death related stories. She's living her own cancer nightmare at the moment, why in the world would she want to enter into someone else's nightmare? It's like when you're pregnant with your first baby and every other mother has to tell you her birthing story and how terrible it was. This is cruel to say the least.

Yes, my mother has lived through all of these statements and many more. Well intentioned stabs. Thus, the title. W.I.S.