Conversations with my husband have proven life changing over the past 17 years. We had such a conversation this past week. We were discussing the idea of "safety". I grew up thinking that God would always protect me from harm. I must've twisted this in my head as a child that if I was obedient, did the right things, that God would watch over me and keep me safe. I said something harsh with emotion ....."God doesn't keep me safe. He promises to be with me, but he doesn't promise to keep our children from being abducted, or disease infesting us or even rape....evil happens all around us."
His wise response went something like this....."I wonder what our lives would look like if we saw all the evil that God constantly holds back. I wonder if we would then realize how safe we really are."
Another stone to add to my pile of bricks that are building up my weak and feeble faith. Slowly, one by one, God is putting them in place. My prayer is at the end of my life, God will call me faithful, not because of anything that I can muster up, but because He has made something beautiful in me to present to King Jesus. I know that in my own strength, I would have empty hands.
4 comments:
Excellent, excellent answer.
Yes, that is an excellent answer.
I don't have anything to add other than to say that you've put into words exactly what I've struggled through on and off for the last ten years or so. I hope to talk to my girls about these thingd as they grow up.
I know, K. Randy and I talked about how to teach God's faithfulness instead. God is with us. Always. Even when your feelings tell you something else.
God has made something beautiful in you to present. So beautiful. So real, too.
I echo both your thoughts and Kris'...I remember a time I was struggling with fear (it was stupid--it was a fear that I'd have when being home alone at night when Wade was working nights.) But it was paralyzing fear, nonetheless. I also battled the realization that God did not guarantee me protection from intruders, rapists, demonic attack, etc. I wondered what in the world I had to stand on to comfort me then...
And once again I had to wrestle with the concept (& truth!) that God is good, and somehow, everything He allows will be used for my good and His glory. (But oh, I can't tell you how trite that phrase can sound at times!) I keep thinking of this as Porter preaches each week. It all comes down to whether or not God is really trustworthy--and good to the core. And can I really trust that He knows better than me. We all know the "right" answers, but internalizing them so that we cling to those truths in the depths of our beings is another story, isn't it?
Growing with you. Thanks for sharing steps in your journey with us.
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