Here we go again...

Dad's back in the hospital with a fever of 101.6. I'm keeping the FCC blog updated....my dad's birthday is Monday. I need help with ideas for a gift. He suggested we give money towards a new pulpit at church. I can't do it. Feels too much like a memorial. He doesn't NEED anything...but I'm trying to think of something comforting, hopeful, thoughtful..and I don't have a lot of time. Any ideas?

New Enemy....

White linoleum. Must I say more?

Dad's 69th Birthday....

I am having a terrible time focusing on anything today.....went to Walmart...kept retracing my steps and it just dawned on me. I picked out a birthday card for my dad today. As I was crying in the card isle, none of them said enough...or just the right thing. I settled on one, but I think my search is not yet completed. It may be time for a homemade card. I think the thing that really sucks (there ...I said it) is that I don't know if I will find myself in the "Dad" section of Hallmark ever again.

I feel better...maybe I can figure out what to make for dinner tonight. This grief thing...it sneaks up on you, takes away your immediate attention, energy and leaves you with a heaviness that you just can't quite put your finger on. We weren't made for this thing called death. It isn't beautiful, we try to make it that..but it isn't. And, I'm not going to pretend that God needs a rose in his garden...or that he needs my dad in heaven. God doesn't need anything. That whole idea makes me sick to my stomach.

What God desires is my heart. And, I am more convinced than ever that He is good, that He loves us more than we realize...and that when I'm sad, His heart aches. I praise Him that He's helped me to turn the corner in trusting Him a little more, and believing a little more that His plans are better than my comfort. It is in facing the doubts, bringing them to the cross, that He gives living water to my soul. I am not disappointed. This, truly, is amazing grace.

Smells.....

I've been given (note I didn't say blessed) with an extra sensitive sense of smell. It can work to my advantage sometimes...like when I smelled a dead mouse and nobody else did. My nose found it, behind the fridge. My family and friends often tease me and give me a hard time..and I want to tell them that it's not an attitude (of which I know I have many), it's a nose!!! Most of the time, I find this special gift annoying. Take last night for instance.......

My boys love to fish with their dad and Uncle Dave. I'm happy for them, I really am. Up until now, they used to fry the fish over at Grandma's and I would purposefully stay home. You see, I don't eat anything that swims..I cannot stand the smell. And what's worse than fish smell...is fish frying in hot grease. Saturday this all changed. They are frying the fish, in peanut oil, in my garage. I wouldn't let them cook it in the house. Even so....last night....I seriously got nauteous at the smell that would waft in every time they would open the garage door. Now...contrary to what I normally do, I purposefully kept my mouth shut all night. I didn't complain. When it came to clean up time, I opened the dishwasher so all the stinky fish stuff could go in..no I didn't touch it. I had candles going, windows opened (I know the heat is on....I was nauteous!)

Went to bed by 8 pm. after I sprayed sweet pea Bath and Body spray in my bedroom.....this morning I was pleasantly surprised that my house didn't smell anymore. But, when I went to get my one and only coat to run errands with my daughter this morning....it was hanging in the garage.......yep...it screams.....grease and fish. Now, I guess I've complained. Ugh.

Old Fisher Price Toys...

I started collecting these from garage sales when my 12 year old was little. I have two huge plastic bins full of them. (airport, town, people, plane, bus, I don't know...)It's the town with the smaller people that are now outdated because they are supposedly a choking hazard. I still don't know how a kids would get that thing lodged...anyway....should I get rid of them? And where...I know they are worth money..not that it really matters. I've seen them in antique stores. I'm just thinkin...could be something to create more space. Will I be sorry? Will the girls play with them? My mom has my original house and schoolhouse, so I was trying to collect a "town" and I have that. Now, do I want it? Thoughts?

Simplify.....

I'm in the mood to get rid of stuff around my house. We are quickly outgrowing our home, four children, and lots and lots of stuff. My dream weekend would be...to be alone in my house for three days...crank the tunes....eat Chiptole for at least five of the meals...and just go from room to room and sort, pitch, organize....clean. Some people dream of warm sunny vacations...and I just want to be home alone in my house organizing my life. Hello, my name is Sheri and I am an ISFJ.

I'll play my own therapist here for a minute..part of it is a desire to control some aspect of my life. When my surroundings are in order, then inside, I feel like I have order. V~ do you have a deeper analysis for me...knowing your knowledge of ISFJ's?

Lesson Learned....

It's not possible to have a clean house and great meals for your family all at the same time. It really is one or the other...at least when you have two toddlers. This week, I've opted for making great meals (don't ask David)....unfortunately we have cell group tomorrow night....gotta get cleaning. Frozen pizza anyone?